Julian Love
Music is my place of peace. Yes, music is a world to me. A world of different elements and concepts that help me get through my day, no matter what mood I’m in. My love for music started when I was only three years old, dancing to Omarion “O”. Just the feeling of the vibrations, the musical elements ringing at my ear, would just bring the inner-performer out of me and I can’t help but act upon the impulses from music.
When I got older music had become more than just a hobby and a joy place, it became my way of speaking or expressing the way the I feel at that point in time, when I don’t feel comfortable talking about in a conversational setting. When I was put into San Marcos Mental Health facility, and Seay Center services multiple times, my life and perception of my life changed completely. I was so depressed, so angry, so suicidal that I ended up incarcerated for it. The only things that helped me get through my darkest times where my talents within music which are, dancing, rapping, producing, songwriting, and performing. After, every time I would think or actually use a knife, jump in front of a car, put weights on in the pool, and eat nuts purposely because I’m deadly allergic to them, the thought of my dreams of sharing my story with people through my music would pop in my head and would make me rethink those decisions. I always wanted to help people like me, who deal with depression, suicide, and other issues entertainers usually don’t talk about, through all my talents.
I remember after one of my shows at the “FORVM”, a listener came up to me, in tears because one of my songs touched her, really opened her eyes to how life is too short to be depressed all the time, that you need to find your own happiness within yourself. That very moment put a smile on my face and made me feel like I was making a difference already at 15 years old. It’s strange because I really don’t like people, but I want to help a certain group of people at the same time. I think it’s tattooed on my soul to make people smile, laugh, and feel better about themselves, so matter how much I try to be angry at people for being bullied in the past, I still have the drive to help others the best way I know how to. I also remember after my dance and rap performance at TEDxYouth 2014, I was signing autographs, and a lady came up to me and said something that will always stick in my head. The exact quote was “Julian, your dance and rap were so inspiring and deep that I just had to come to tell you that I’m the exact same way. I appreciate you using your talents to touch people like us, you deserve the “Lime-Light”, you are the true meaning of an artist, thank you, Julian, wish you great luck on your future”.
I took what she told me, and thought deeply. Thinking is the way I’m supposed to be? Currently, I feel like a hypocrite, because I’m still not okay in the mind as well, but I’m helping people with problems I’m having and can’t fix my own yet. Maybe people's perceptions of me are greater than my own understanding. All I know is music is my life, I am music, and I feel like I found a great way to use it for good.
Helping people like me, was always my plan in life. Even if my music career doesn’t take off as I want it to, having this skill of engineering music, would still be satisfying to my soul.
Love, Julian, BUFFALO, NY 1998
When I got older music had become more than just a hobby and a joy place, it became my way of speaking or expressing the way the I feel at that point in time, when I don’t feel comfortable talking about in a conversational setting. When I was put into San Marcos Mental Health facility, and Seay Center services multiple times, my life and perception of my life changed completely. I was so depressed, so angry, so suicidal that I ended up incarcerated for it. The only things that helped me get through my darkest times where my talents within music which are, dancing, rapping, producing, songwriting, and performing. After, every time I would think or actually use a knife, jump in front of a car, put weights on in the pool, and eat nuts purposely because I’m deadly allergic to them, the thought of my dreams of sharing my story with people through my music would pop in my head and would make me rethink those decisions. I always wanted to help people like me, who deal with depression, suicide, and other issues entertainers usually don’t talk about, through all my talents.
I remember after one of my shows at the “FORVM”, a listener came up to me, in tears because one of my songs touched her, really opened her eyes to how life is too short to be depressed all the time, that you need to find your own happiness within yourself. That very moment put a smile on my face and made me feel like I was making a difference already at 15 years old. It’s strange because I really don’t like people, but I want to help a certain group of people at the same time. I think it’s tattooed on my soul to make people smile, laugh, and feel better about themselves, so matter how much I try to be angry at people for being bullied in the past, I still have the drive to help others the best way I know how to. I also remember after my dance and rap performance at TEDxYouth 2014, I was signing autographs, and a lady came up to me and said something that will always stick in my head. The exact quote was “Julian, your dance and rap were so inspiring and deep that I just had to come to tell you that I’m the exact same way. I appreciate you using your talents to touch people like us, you deserve the “Lime-Light”, you are the true meaning of an artist, thank you, Julian, wish you great luck on your future”.
I took what she told me, and thought deeply. Thinking is the way I’m supposed to be? Currently, I feel like a hypocrite, because I’m still not okay in the mind as well, but I’m helping people with problems I’m having and can’t fix my own yet. Maybe people's perceptions of me are greater than my own understanding. All I know is music is my life, I am music, and I feel like I found a great way to use it for good.
Helping people like me, was always my plan in life. Even if my music career doesn’t take off as I want it to, having this skill of engineering music, would still be satisfying to my soul.
Love, Julian, BUFFALO, NY 1998
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